Top Ten Tips on Life by Grandma
My grandmother was Scottish. She was born in the Orkney Isles which is in the very north of Scotland. She came to Australia by sailing ship at the age of 9. That ship was the “Cutty Sark” which has a remarkable place in Australian history. The Cutty Sark was a windjammer. They were named that because of their large number of sails and the sail mass. The windjammers ran the route from Great Britain to Australia via South Africa and the Cape of Good Hope mainly with a cargo of tea. After travelling thousands of miles down the west coat of Africa that would call into Capetown where the ships crew would have some shore leave, and they would re-provision with fresh fruit and vegetables, fresh water and other livestock for the final leg to Hobart or Melbourne. The great sails would be set to take advantage of the “Roaring Forties” . My grandmother died at the age of 94, and even up to her death could recall the voyage to Australia in great detail. During her lifetime and from about my age of five, she would recount many stories about her past and her advice for living a proper and fruitful life. Here is what I can recall.
#1. Many a Mickle makes a Muckle.
A very scottish expression emanating from what was a hard life. Translated in Victorian terms in meant “Save your pennies and the pounds will look after themselves.” Translated again for the digitally enhanced, it is “Save your cents and the dollars will look after themselves”. Frugality was a trait of life as there were no creature comforts on the heather studded hills. Going to “town” was not part of the weekly routine. There were the local markets with produce and livestock, and Edinburgh or Glasgow were visited rarely.
#2. Manners Maketh the Man.
This goes from table manners to opening car doors for ladies. Being Victorian, my grandmother was a stickler for proper manners especially when eating. Meals were at the dining table and one sat there until the end of the meal. The cutlery was laid out in terms of the order of the courses. Soup spoons to the outside, then the large diner knives and forks, then the pudding spoons and pudding forks. If cheese was being eaten then cheese knives and forks were also provided. Wine glasses were similarly placed in order, white, then red, then small port glasses at the rear of the cutlery. Gentlemen always opened car doors for ladies, and when being introduced to a lady, a gentleman always doffed his hat.
#3. Never swim until one hour after a meal.
Apparently by swimming after a meal, one was prone to the most horrible pain of stomach cramps. The pain would be so excruciating that the errant swimmer would curl up like a ball, sink to the bottom and drown. But if you waited exactly one hour, all would be well. I am not aware what happened if the meal was many courses and took possibly two hours to digest?
#4. Always respect your Elders.
If you were a child aged seven, then you had a lot of elders. Brothers , sisters, cousins, uncle, aunts and of course grandparents. They all had to be treated with respect as they were older. They had much life experience and of course the grandparents with reverence as they knew how to bring up children as they had raised your mother or father. One could understand about respecting your parents or grandparents, but not your cousins. They were good to tease or engage in a bit of “biffo”.
#5. Never Lie.
This was a sancrosanct rule. A bit like George Washington and the chopping down of the cherry tree. Liars had their mouths washed out with soap. Grandma followed Shakespeare’s rule in Hamlet,”to thine own self be true, and it follows as the night doth the day, that thou canst not then be false to any other man”. My Gran did not have a cherry tree, but she had a 50 foot high Macadamia nut tree which was prolific. Bashing the hard shells with a hammer and eating whole fresh “Queensland nuts” was a sublime pastime.
#6.Be Good.
This homily was a general catchall. If every other admonition failed to impress, then this one stuck. It was followed by “if you are not good, then you will get bread and dripping for tea and go straight to bed.” Even vegemite on toast was better than that.
#7. The Protestant Work Ethic.
As a Scottish Presbyterian my Gran knew what it was like to have to toil for your family. You can imagine there were not many sunny days at that latitude in Scotland. One worked in the fields and toiled from dawn to dusk. As a child, Gran would have been allocated her share of the household chores. She would surely have seen that the men worked the fields either growing crops or tending sheep and cattle. Remember one reason the English invaded Scotland was because the grazing land was some of the best in England.
#8. The Depression.
This made a lasting impression on my Grandmother and the fear of a recession or depression happening again made her very frugal. One ensured that string and rubber bands were saved as well as brown paper. What on earth for I do not recall. The era was certainly before supermarkets and pre-cooked meals sealed in plastic and ?? so perhaps when buying a fresh chook or rabbit from the butcher, you had it wrapped in brown paper and tied with string?
#9. Office Politics.
It was not until I began working that Gran delivered her further philosophies on work. These were besides the well know “work hard”. From her experiences in Australia and I am sure no reflection on her husband while he was alive, she profoundly stated ” never dip your pen in the office ink well”. A loose translation into todays vernacular would be ” don’t fool around with the opposite sex who work with you”. There is no such thing as a secret office romance.
#10. Ancestry.
Just for a bit of fun two weeks ago I found the website www.ancestry.com.au There is an Australian version and I researched my father, mother and grandmother. My son in law was also interested in his family tree and was able to go back a bit further into their English background. My partner is the proud owner of her ancestral background going back to the 1600′s and her family originated from Norway. Some relative spent probably a year researching the lineage and then researched Australian newspaper records for the family history in Australia.Fascinating !
So for the majority of Australians their history will most likely start with a voyage from England. Either with a convict or a free man as an ancestor. Do not let the fact of a convict heritage deter you from enquiring. Even in these modern time , we still have some crooks around!
I am sure that there a number of other such homilies from grandmas in every country. So if you want to add to the list with your own grandma’s philosophies, please comment. But no spam please.
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